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Stephen Colbert Spoofs Alex Jones, Offers To Be Trump’s Poison Tester

Community Admin 9 Jan 13

Late night host Stephen Colbert once again spoofed Alex Jones with his character “Tuck Buckford” to mock the notion President Trump is being poisoned by the Deep State.

Colbert reprised Alex Jones-like parody character and “Brain Fight” host Tuck Buckford to offer to be Trump’s food and beverage tester in case the Deep State was poisoning the president, as sources have revealed to Jones.

“If you’re just joining us, Brain Fighters, today we’re diving into the media conspiracy to convince you that the president has small genitals, okay? Not true! It’s just jealousy,” said Buckford on Friday.

“Because members of the Fake News media have had their own genitals replaced by USB ports in order to conceal Hillary Clinton’s emails inside their pelvic floors, okay? That’s what kegels are for: opening a file.”

Colbert’s Buckford then went on to question the safety of Trump’s food.

“You Brain Fighters down in the mine trench know I’ve been immune to all poisons since my sweat-lodge vision quest during the weekend I spent locked in my mom’s Honda Accord,” Buckford said. “The Japanese put the child locks in the backseat on direct orders from Crown Prince Pikachu.”

“Which is why I’m personally volunteering to be President Trump’s food and beverage tester. Sir, reporting for duty: starting with your Reddi Wip.”

Buckford then smells the can of whipped cream and concludes it’s “micro-dosed with the venom of the deadly Emperor penguin.”

“You gotta fight poison with poison,” he said. “That’s why I always follow it up with drinking a bag of Tide pods.”

In September, Jones cited sources close to Trump claiming he was being slowly poisoned by the Deep State because the “power structure wants a puppet.”

“But I’ve talked to people, multiple ones, and they believe that they are putting a slow sedative that they’re building up that’s also addictive in his Diet Cokes and in his iced tea and that the president by six or seven at night is basically slurring his words and is drugged,” Jones said on air.


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